Time out Will work !
Time Out Recipe
1. Establish written household rules. Post rules on fridge or somewhere seen. Keep simple. Involve the kids in making the rules but parents are final boss.
2. Set a chair in a boring indestructible place. Halls are good and so are laundry rooms. Watch secretly while kids are in timeout. If a kid teases another one...switch them immediately, so the teaser does the time. They will learn this rule quickly!
3. When a rule is broken say, " 'Name', you broke the rule about ____, you have to go to time out!"
4. Take by elbow and walk child to chair. Sit them. Say "TIME OUT !!" Set timer for 1 minute per year old.
5. There are two rules. To get out of timeout child must 1) Stay quiet. 2) Stay seated. If child is noisy, set clock back to beginning. If child gets up, then squeeze the trapezius (between neck and shoulder bone) hard enough to elicit an "ouch" and make child sit back down. Say "TIME OUT !!!!" and re-set clock. Ignore all but the most obvious challenges.
(If child is constantly noisy, put the clock up for a while...then re-try to get their time done when child is finally quiet. If you prefer spanking then its OK to give one BIG spank INSTEAD of the pressure point squeeze...AKA Vulcan nerve grip ;-)
6. When timer dings GO to child and say "ARE YOU READY TO GET OUT OF TIME OUT ??"
7. If child responds appropriately go to #8. If child does NOT respond appropriately go to #4.
8. Give the child a simple direct command that can be done in a minute or less. Correction of misbehavior is a good idea here, if it can be very simple. (Hug a hurt sibling etc) IF, however, child is non-compliant go to #4. If child follows instruction PRAISE PROFUSELY and give a special TREAT.
9. Repeat time out as needed. Be prepared for the "extinction burst". Exctinction bursts are frantic efforts to defeat you just before giving in. You may have to do 2 dozen back to back or one 6 hour failed time out while they are trying to defeat you. Stay the course. You MUST win these challenges without losing your cool.
Print this Recipe and hold it in one hand and the child in the other for the first week. I call this a "Recipe" because if you follow it to the letter you are guaranteed success! Time out always ends happily with a positive behavior and positive reinforcement. There are as many styles of time out as their are cars. Some run better than others. I guarantee this one is you do it perfectly for one month. Don't try time out in public until you are 100% successful at home. Then your in-store improvisation might work. Top out your time out at 5 minutes. Less time is better as it teaches them to get themselves together quicker and you have MORE "learning trials" that way. Look at it this way...you can use it repeatedly an infinite number of times. Its not abusive and doesn't have side effects. Don't get angry or show emotions though or kids find this rewarding ;-)
I thought long and hard about giving this away because I often told psychologys students I could make a living just with this time out protocol ! Then I realized I got the foundational idea for my own unique version of time out from a Vandy post doc named Steve Glasscock PhD who had a version he tweaked from what he called "that dustbowl of empiricism University of Kansas" thus it was more appropriate to continue the tradition of passing this technique on freely. Here is a jewel of a b-mod formula.